Losing a Mommy Friend
This past year, I have lost two women in my life that I call “Mommy Friends.” We were not best friends that shared our deepest secrets, but over the past 5 years, I have created meaningful relationships with these women, whether it was through committees or events at school or playdates with the kids. Maybe it is a “mommy” thing, but I don’t care how close you are or aren’t to the person who has passed, it is still devastating when you consider the husbands and kiddos left behind. I can’t help but put myself in their shoes, and I am saddened when I think of the bright smiles I will no longer see in the carpool lane, or down the street.
I don’t believe one should have to justify why or how deeply they grieve a loss. Whether you were best friends or simply an acquaintance, loss of life is sad; especially when young ones are involved. In both situations, there were hundreds of people literally praying for a miracle and for healing. Just going through the process of praying like this challenged my faith. Is “healing” possible? Is this out of our hands? Can God really work a miracle here? But with an active faith, I prayed for these things and with all my heart believed in the possibility of God doing great things. And He did. It was simply according to HIS will, not our own.
The funeral service, or as many prefer to call it “The Celebration of Life” was beautiful for both women. But what I struggled with most going into them, was the questions, of “Why Her? Why Now?” and “How do I “celebrate” my friend’s life when I am still broken hearted over losing them?” I know I am not alone here or the only one asking myself this. It almost feels unbelievable sitting there, talking about someone you lost, because you were just hanging out with them a few short weeks prior. But the reality is, life is short. It was their time to go and I am reminded in both situations that my friends are thankfully, no longer in pain. They are experiencing everlasting peace. An idea that is amazing and inspiring on one hand, but also extremely difficult to grasp the scope of on the other. Despite how hard it is to wrap my head around the concept of peace in heaven, I found rest in knowing:
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” – Psalm 34:18
Through all the challenges in my life, I find my faith is strongest when I am weak. This song instills in me strength and peace.
“Oceans” Hillsong United
If you feel like there are others in your life, who don’t quite relate to your loss, it’s ok. Consider for a moment that perhaps they aren’t in a similar “phase of life” you are. Priorities are different and equally important in every phase of life. As a mom, my “phase” right now is supporting my husband and raising kids. Of course I am working my tale off and finding time for my passion of music, but my PRIORITY is THEM. Being present at their school and in our home every day. Attending Scout camp outs or meetings. Heading up a committee on the PTA board. As moms, we build relationships with other parents, as well as, a sincere appreciation and respect for them because we are all in the same boat. Showing up, supporting our child, teacher and school, taking the time to smile and make simple conversation with those around us. Brings me back to my previous post on Community and how it takes a village: www.everymomstory.com/it-takes-a-village
The women we lost this past year were BEAUTIFUL, inside and out. They loved their life at home and in their community. I will truly miss them both and can only hope that if and when the opportunity arises to live into their girl’s lives, I can be a good example of consistency, love, and strength to them. May I also remember to be thankful for the time I have and each day appreciate the opportunity to hold, love and cherish my husband and girls. Can I get an Amen?
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