Loving Our “Flaws” As We Age
If one more young adult or even worse, 20 something person calls me “Ma’am” again, I think I am going to lose it!!! I get that I live in Texas and it is the “polite” thing to say, but am I really old enough to be a “ma’am?” My grey hairs are certainly telling of that, but in my mind and in my heart, I am still young! Because I feel honesty is the best policy, I will admit that although I believe I am still “young,” hitting my mid-30’s took a bit of a toll on my ego. And I KNOW I am going to hear it from all my mommy friends who are older than me, and who all call me the “baby” of the bunch…but I don’t care. The reality is, I have insecurities that I work through every day. For the first time, I find myself looking at 20 year old girls, or I guess I should call them women, and thinking not so nice things of them in my head. Am I jealous of their freedom? Do I envy their perky boobs and carefree laughs? Perhaps… but when I dig deep and really get down to it, I am challenged to transform my perception of age and embrace my own “flaws” that my beautiful life has given me. (not to mention, remember that I was a 20 something once, and perfectly lovely than as well)
Growing up my mom was never afraid to tell people her age. She operates by the motto “go with the flow,” and would always talk about being young at heart. It wasn’t until she hit her 60’s that I actually heard her admit, “I don’t realize how old I am getting until I look in the mirror.” Despite all that talk, she did have that one thing that was always on her brain: losing weight. She was always on some diet or talking about how she needs to lose 10 pounds. Won’t there always be SOMETHING?
When we are in our early teens, our boobs aren’t big enough and we beg to wear makeup to look more mature. Late teens and early twenties hit and suddenly we have thighs to worry about. As we become adults, it’s our weight or our wrinkles or our cellulite. It never ends! My gorgeous, young friend, Kristen just launched a fantastic blog site called The Mermaid Theory which tackles this exact topic. This month she asked me to take “the mermaid theory challenge,” so we set up a photo shoot and my story will be featured on her site this month! Truth be told, during this shoot, all I could think about was my grey hair and wrinkles. What is wrong with me? This picture turned out rockin’ (thanks to Sue Linke Photography)!
Please take a moment to check out Kristen’s blog, The Mermaid Theory when you get a chance!
Let’s talk about the word, “Flaws.” I truly think that they are mostly, if not all, in our heads. We will always find an imperfection in our bodies or appearance, and many of us struggle with the idea of LOVING every bit of who we are. How do I LOVE my saggy boobs that breastfed three children? How do I LOVE the ever increasing grey hairs, or as I now refer to them, “my bling?” How do I LOVE it everytime I am called “Ma’am?” I’d like to share a bit of a post my beautiful mommy friend, Marcia wrote recently after turning 50. It struck a chord with many of us because she spoke the truth.
“I pushed against this milestone birthday for a lot of reasons: the number itself, too much going on, unwanted attention of a party, pride; you reach a point where you’d just like time to stop (not to mention the aging process!). It’s hard enough to watch your kids grow up, knowing that in a few short years, they’ll be on their own, but to know that time keeps moving for you as well, can be an adjustment that’s hard to take. So, I pushed against, dreading…
But then…I was reminded that the party I feared, was my husband’s way of loving me…I remembered the friend we lost last week & the gift of another day, another year that I’ve been given – to love my family, laugh with my friends & give/receive hugs & glorify Jesus with my life… it was a reminder that God still has a plan for me & I was made to thrive (good song)… and I saw all the sweet wishes on FB.
So, I choose gratitude, to embrace it all & to celebrate all I’ve been given!! “This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice & be glad in it. ” Ps 118:24″
– Marcia Heindl
Thank you Marcia, for reminding me that EVERY DAY truly is a gift. I have said many times throughout this blog, that life is short. We must try our best to embrace it, flaws and all. Last Summer when I turned 36, my wonderful husband wrote something in my card that I, as a wine lover, really appreciated, “My beautiful wife, you are as wine is, better as time passes.” Now it’s up to ME, to believe that of myself.
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