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Survivors
Inspiration

Survivors

Angie Knight August 3, 2015 6

Survivors

My name is Angie. Mother of three, wife, stay-home Mom, professional, daughter, sister, friend, but most important… survivor.  Last year we had a baby girl, my third child, Olivia Anne. She was beautiful, courageous, and stubborn (like her Mom!) She changed my life.

We lost her three weeks after she was born.

There is so much to this story I would love to share, and if you so wish, you can read more about her on my website. BUT what I want you to take away from this post, if anything, is that we survived. We are surviving, and we didn’t have to do it alone.

Life after loss is brutal, beautiful, messy, new, life changing. It’s not a linear process and sometimes you feel as if you take more steps back than forward, but the point is…. you’re still taking steps. It breaks your heart into a million pieces, but at the same time, teaches you what is truly important in life, and what really is not.

We were inspired by the love and support we received through Olivia. People showed up in droves, and the humanity I thought was lost…. Is what saves you. AND speaking of what saves you, I won’t take you to church today, but I can’t write this post without giving a shout out to God. I never knew how much I was lacking in faith, untilI realized how much my life depended on it. When we found out we would lose Olivia shortly after birth, I was so angry I could scream (I did scream!). BUT He took it from there; I didn’t really even have to ask. He changed a stubborn, angry, sad, disbelieving heart…and changed it into one of gratitude and endearing love.

It’s not easy, and I’m not sure there is ever a complete end to grief. My kids lost a baby sister. Natalie still cries for her baby sister from time to time and all I can do is hold her. My husband and I brought a child into this world that we had to give back. I miss her. We are different. My family is changed. My marriage is new. Our family has some gaps in it. There are obvious battles we face, daily! It’s a hot mess from time to time! But we love more than we ever have before. We believe. I believe in Heaven and the ultimate destination of one day being a whole family again. God is love. Love has saved us.

OAK

OAK Everlasting >>

 

We Are Survivors.

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There are 6 comments

  • Sandy Fillmore says:

    This is beautiful, Angie. You seem like a strong woman….just like your mom. She’s been through a lot herself, and she has always remained so positive. I love her so. I wish we could have lived closer together all these years. I did go to see you right after they brought you home from the hospital. She’s so proud of you..
    Anyway, I am sorry this happened to your sweet family, but you will see Miss Olivia again.

    • Thank you for your kind comment Sandy. You really nailed it on the head. Both Angie and her mom are absolute GEMS! Thanks for being apart of the story. I know you will enjoy the subsequent posts coming from Angie later this week!

  • I am so grateful that Angie agreed to become a monthly EMS Contributor. Her story inspires me deeply and I appreciate her honesty and gigantic heart. She admits that life is messy and it is not easy! She allows herself to grieve and feel pain. Yet, she continually rests in her faith in God and she LOVES deeply. May we be reminded that healing does not come over night. We must persevere and have patience. Thank you Angie!

  • Andrea says:

    Angie has been my best friend since 2nd grade. She is one of most wonderful, kind-hearted, loving, godly women I know. I’m so proud of her and love her more every time I read her writings and hear her speak of Olivia and her constant faith.

    Love you always, Andy

  • Anonymous says:

    A beautiful, loving testimony of faith and love!

  • Tsedey says:

    Losing a child is a mother ‘s nightmare. Watching you go through it and growing has blessed and encouraged me to trust God in a way I have never trusted before.
    Thank you for your testimony.

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